Journaling for Create Yourself

I just turned the page of the story of my life and I feel like it is a whole new chapter, very close to being a whole other book in some ways. I am still the main character, but am going through some very radical changes. I wrote an email to three different people asking them to describe me in two words……….all came back with the same response: loving, caring, nurturing. Those are not bad attributes; however they do define a person in a limited way. The caregiver, the worrier, the good girl. Again, not bad attributes, but what happens when there is no one left to take care of? This leads to the new chapter for me. I need to find something else to make my life complete. My youngest daughter said, “Mom, just take care of yourself, so that you are always there for us.” I am embarking on a whole new territory here, never one for jewels or fancy clothes, I decided just to do the basic things in taking care of myself. I went to the store and bought sunglasses to prevent cataracts. I also purchased a bottle of sun screen to use at the pool, to prevent skin cancer. I filled the prescriptions for doxepin and nabumetone which I need for sleep and pain relief. I never wanted to take them before because I was afraid I would be so sound asleep I would not be there to take care of Ed. Sometimes we just think we are so necessary to others, when actually they are just fine by themselves. Just because the grandkids have moved far away does not mean I can’t still get exercise at the pool. I am making it a habit of giving myself a good workout each day by swimming laps. I vow to eat better, sleep better, and feel better. Then we will see what kind of fun I can have as a whole new person.

July 2008